Baking Bad: Meth is Magic
by TheReplication
Summary: This story is a MLP fan-fic that takes place in an alternate universe similar to AMC's Breaking Bad, most of the continuity to the original MLP show does not become prier to this Fan Fiction, if any misplaced adaptations are to occur please let me know and I will fix them. I also hope that this does not ruin the perspective of MLP or Breaking Bad fans. Please Enjoy.


The story starts when an apron flying in the wind and landing on a desert like ground as a large wagon is being quickly hauled by an engine, and a desperate Twilight Sparkle is driving such a contraption with a large gas mask over her face and unconscious bodies are in the back sliding and being wized around as Twilight is making harsh turns to keep the large wagon at bay, but failed as it crashes into a ditch, with this course of action she then got out coughing and wheezing from the chemicals as she takes off her mask, soon after then then looked at the wagon in such demeanor that she grunts in frustration and chucks her gas mask into the distance, then clears her head and realizes that she may have done a mistake of doing all of this and decides to go back in the wagon and retrieve an item. As she takes deep breaths and holding the last deep breath she quickly runs in there and grabs an enchanted dagger, her papers of identification, and a piece of scroll that she sends to Celestia, the these items she then runs back out and sets these objects on the ground, then picks up the scroll and begins writing,

 _'My name is Twilight Sparkle, I live in the Golden Oak Library - Ponyvile, Equestria, to all law enforcement entities this not an admission of guilt, I am Speaking to my Friends and Family now-'_ she then stops and lets out a few tears to ease the pain, then resumes to write.  
' _... Apple Jack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Celestia, and Pinkie. I care for all of you, I hope you all know that, Spike... Your My Best Friend... There are going to be some, Things, things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days I just, want you to know that no matter how it may look, I only had all of you in my heart. Goodbye.'_ _-Twilight_

She then wipes her tears as she sets the letter down, since she cannot transport it like Spike can, she then puts on a shirt that she was using before and took the dagger that she had and walked up on the rise, and once she got up there she can hear sirens coming her way, as she raised her dagger ready to strike dark magic to whoever was coming she would assume that it's the authorities, with such anticipation she started straight down the line of the blade which was trailing down to a flashback.

* * *

 **(Three Weeks Earlier)**

In the dead of night with everyone asleep in Ponyvile only one was awake with a thought poking at her brain as she layed in her bed, Twilight was re-evaluating things in her life but then decided to get up from her bed, put on her secretly prescribed glasses, and do a bit of mid-night exercise, and as she was on a home-made fashion treadmill she was also looking at a wall full of diplomas and other things she had accomplished in her life.

The next morning she was about to have breakfast until she noticed that her hay-bacon was rearranged into a number, '40' she didn't placed her food like that until she looked at Spike, and he had a nice smile on today,

"Happy Birthday Twilight." Spike said with a pleasant tone in his voice.

"Hmh, Look at that, it's veggie Hay-Bacon." Twilight said examining her food.

"Yeah, believe it or not, with 0 cholesterol you can't even taste the difference. So uh, what time do you think you'll be home?" Spike asks as he know that she now has a part time job at Sugar Cube Corner, since the economy has been getting tighter around Equestria.

"Oh, same time. As you would know, I get paid till five, I work till five, no later" Twilight explained as she took a bite out of her veggie-bacon as says in her head 'egh taste like band-aids' but then she coughs harshly.

"oh, did you take your echinacea?" Spike asks with a bit of concern.

"Yeah, i think it's getting better" she reply's as she continues to eating her birthday bacon.

"...So Twi, how's it feel to be old?" Spike asks in a sarcastic/joking manner

"How's it feel to be a smart-ass?" she says with a good comeback.

"heh, touché" Spike replies.

Later on as the morning is progressing, Twilight was helping other ponies finding, getting, and dropping off books in her library, until it was around 11:30 and she was about close up early until a few little fillies came to her with mind pondering questions, and knowing Twilight she can't help but Not say 'No' because not only did these children wanted more knowledge but also she likes to explain various things to people, especially science. This went on for a while until one of the fillies asked, "What is Chemistry?", Twilight then thought about this and then says,

"Well, Chemistry is the study of matter, but I prefer to see it as the study of change. Now, just think about this, electrons, they, change their energy levels, molecules change their bonds, elements, they combine and change into compounds. Well that's... That's all of life, right? It's the constant, it's the cycle... It's solution, dissolution, just over and over and over, it's growth, then decay, then transformation, it is fascinating, really." she chuckles of the thought of 'yes, it is fascinating' it wasn't until she saw 3 young adult ponies were harassing Spike as he was just trying to stock some books.

"Ahem!" Twilight spoke out to them as she uses her magic to lift them all and place them near the exit,

"are you all done?" she asks as the 3 then headed out, mumbling to themselves. Twilight then recomened the fillies a few books to read as she tells Spike that she's heading out and that she wants him to close up when she's gone Spike then agrees as he says his goodbyes when Twilight leaves to Sugar Cube Corner.

* * *

 **(S.C.C)**

"One, two, three makes 10, and 10 makes 20. And here's your receipt. And just hand this ticket to the take-out booth, Thank You, come again." Twilight says to a costumer as she works the register, then Ms. Cake comes up to Twilight and asks her that she will could take over, since one of her other employes just quit just now when she was on the phone.

"Cup Cake no, we talked about this," twilight says refusing this request, because she knows that she will have to clean the gutters and work on machinery, kind of like a janitor but more qualified.

"We're short hoofed here Twilight, What am I to do?" Ms. Cake asks her, for in this reality Mr. Cake is divorced and is currently somewhere else working in or on, Who Knows What. And with frustration Twilight then took off her fist layer of her uniform and headed over to the backroom to work on the machines. This went on for a while as the day goes, as she was outside cleaning a dumpster from the side of S.C.C the same 3 ponies that were at the library now see Twilight cleaning the gunk off of the trash, as they laugh and pointed Twilight felt a sense of demeanor and continued to clean in shame as one of the ponies took out a camera and took a pic, saying that he's gonna share this with all of his friends.

Soon after when it was after five Twilight then came back home but as she was walking back the thought of her being humiliated was still lingering with her, but as she unlocks and opens the door the lights quickly turned on as she entered, and a small crowed of ponies shouted 'Surprise!' and 'Happy Birthday!' this startled her and she let out a Yelp, but then realized that it was a Surprise Birthday Party, now normally Pinkie Pie would do this sort of thing but she went missing along with Rainbow Dash a couple years back so the ones who threw the party were the Apple Family.

"Hey, your late." Spike said after he gave Twilight a hug. Later on, everyone was mingling with everyone, and what seemed to be that Apple Bloom and Spike were somehow a 'Thing', as the party carried on Apple Jack was showing everyone how her daily life has been since she joined the P.D.E.A. (Pony Drug Enforcement Administration) and then shows everyone how to handle these weapons called 'Buck-Cannons' (little hoof-sized cannons) or to put them in short term, 'Bonks'

"It's a Clock 22, that's my daily carry, okay? I mean unless you're talkin' 'bout Plus P Plus loads, then you forget about the 9 mil. i mean, Shoot I've seen one of em' bounce off a window once." AJ says as she shows everyone and tells a short story.

"Yeah when You're shootin'" Apple Bloom says in a joking manner as everyone laughs a bit.

"Hey, hehe. I mean you can bring a Bonk, baby, you gotta bring enough Bonk." AJ says as pops open the bonk and takes out a metal pellet, "Forty Caliber" and then hands the empty bonk to Spike.

"Woah, this is awesome right here" he says with a bit of fascination, "Hey Twi, you gotta come check this out."

"Yeah I see it." she says as she stands right behind AJ, but Spike insists for her to see it as in 'Hold It' in her hand, Twilight then does that and comes to a surprised realization that it's heavier than it looks.

"Come on sugar-cube it ain't gonna bite ya. Heh, looks like Blue Blood with a glass of warm milk, doesn't she?" she comments in a joking manner as the small group laughs a bit.  
"Say Twilight. Hey Everypony listen up, listen up, listen up! I wanna give a toast to my best friend, come here... Twi, you got the brain the size of the larges apple farm, but we're not gonna hold that against you. Heheh, But your heart's in the right place, your heart's in the right place, we all love you Twi, we love you. Everypony, To Twi!" AJ says as everyone in the room takes a shot of apple-cider that the apple family kindly provided. But then AJ then remembers that there's a news broadcast coming in, in about a few minutes with AJ in it."Oh shoot, Big Mac get the television and turn on channel 3."

After they have set up the T.V. and watched the News Pony talk about a news headline 'Meth Lab Seizure' as the News Pony turns the microphone to Apple Jack.

 _"-At witch point we apprehended three individuals and placed them in to custody. I'm proud to say the outstanding professionalism of my fellow agents at the Counterlot District Office, resulted in a substantial amount of Methamphetamine been taken off the street."  
_ _"Were any shots fired?"  
"No ma'am, our agents took the subjects by surprise-"_

"Wow, I guess T.V. does add ten pounds" Apple Bloom jokes a bit as they all were watching AJ's news spot light, and Big Mac replied with a 'Yup'

"Oh, y'all just sit n' spin, both of ya." AJ tells them as she gives off a bit of a chuckle herself as everyone continued to watch the television screen.

 _"This was clearly an ongoing operation. One which was well-organized-"_

"Apple Jack, how much Bits is that" Twilight asks as an image of a Load of money showed up in the screen, with AJ's reply saying,

"I recon' it's about, over 700 grand. Was a pretty good haul."

 _"- As I say, it's a good day for the citizens of Ponyvile when we can put this big dent in the local drug trade."_

"Well that's, that's unusual isn't it? That kind of cash?" Twilight asks a bit surprised that it's a lot of money.

"Well, it's not the most we ever took. It's easy money, tell we catch ya. haha. I mean Twi just say the word and I'll take ya on a ride-along, you can watch us buck-down a meth lab, huh? Get a lil' excitement in your life." AJ says with a little chuckle when she gives that invite to Twilight.

"Heh, well someday." Twilight replies.

* * *

 **(The next day** **)**

As Twilight was wheeling down a barrel of sugar candy it all of a sudden it got trapped onto something, she then looked down and the wheel was logged into a near by pipe that she was wheeling down the barrel next to, she then pulled it out and then proceeded to roll it down to it's place and sets it down, and when she did she then looks out onto the exit/entrance of the store, having the thought of 'I wish I could get outta here now' but after she thought that another one of her harsh and heavy coughs came up and then started to Violently cough, so much so that she actually collapsed and passed out on the ground.

Later on, Twilight then regains consciousness as she wakes up in a Chariot Ambulance, a bit embarrassed to having to wake in a ambulance she tries to get the paramedic pony to just let her get on out of here, "I am fine honestly. It's just some bug going around. First my best friend had it, then a family member, and now me It's just, It's just like a chest cold. then again maybe could be just some low blood sugar, i didn't have the greatest breakfast this morning. honestly I didn't." she says to the paramedic pony as she tries her vary best to persuade him to let her off. "Hey listen, can you do me a favor? Can you just, drop me off at a corner somewhere?"

"Uh no, sorry" the medic says to her as he checks her heart rate, "Take a couple of deep breaths for me." Twilight then did so but let out a cough or two as she breath the first time, the second time she did fine.

"Is there anypony you want us to contact for you?" the medic pony says after checking, twilight then said 'No' as the medic then asks her to lean forward to check her back breathing, and Twilight just that until the medic asks, "Miss Sparkle, do you smoke?"

"No, never... Why do you ask?" she said, and at that moment when she looked at him the Paramedic then gave a slight sign of grief on his face.

Soon later Twilight is then placed on a machine were it scanned her insides to see what was wrong. Afterward Twilight is then in an office sitting on a chair, shutting out everything in the world as this goes on a doctor pony is in the same room telling Twilight what she has, but when this is happening Twilight can't help but notice there's a small mustard stain on the pony's lab coat,

"Miss Sparkle? Miss Sparkle? You understand what I just said to you?" the doctor said after grabbing the attention of Twilight.

"Yes. Lung Cancer, inoperable." twilight said with such calm to this devastating news.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to make sure you fully understood." he said as he checks.

"Best case scenario, with chemo, I live maybe, another couple of years. It's just... you've got mustard on your..." she then points to where the stain is, "Right there. You got mustard there, Right there." they then have an awkward moment of silence as the doctor looked at his lab coat and then looks at Twilight.

Later as Twilight returned home Spike is on the phone talking to the bank, "So the records show that I paid it and I certainty don't feel that we owe any late-... yeah- Alright um, Well I'll check with the nearest bank and maybe the post office if they lost it or something. Yeah let me look into that. Okay. Thanks." he then hangs up and sees Twilight getting some cider from the fridge and says, "oh hey Twi, so uh, Did you use the Card last month? uh... $15.88 on staples?"

"We needed to restock on them, we were running low." she says, giving and honest explanation

"Twi, the Card is when and absolute emergency happens." Spike explains as he forgives her for an honest mistake. "So, how was your day?"

"... Oh you know. I don't know, it was... Fine." she says as she hides the truth that she had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer.

* * *

 **(the next day at S.C.C)**

As Twilight was working the register she went to the side and started off into the large glass window and see all the other ponies going about there day as they walked on by from a distance, this then made Twilight think about her life and she blocks out the world again for a while, but then her thoughts were broken as Ms. Cake walks up to her and says to her, "hey Twilight, Twilight, Twi come on I'm short-hoofed I need you outside do some wipe-downs."

"What?" Twilight asks, because she knows that Ms. Cake was the one who called the ambulance and Know that she was in the hospital, but Ms. cake didn't care.

"I said I need you to do some wipe-downs. Do you plan on working or to be staring at the skies? let's go." Ms. Cake said as she demanded Twilight to go with her, but this made her just lose it as Twilight went around the register, walk up to Cake as said,

"fuck you dazzle..." as she started to walk out the front door, but Ms. Cake said, 'What' as she was in shock in what Twilight just said, unfortunately twilight heard what she said and then replied, "I Said Fuck You! And your Hair Style!" she then used a portion of her magic go on and mess up all of the sweeteners within the walls of the shop and then she said, "WIPE DOWN THIS!" as she storms off and out of Sugarcube Corner.

Later at home when night time hit Twilight was in her room lighting and putting out a candle stick on her desk as she was sitting there, just wondering how is she going to tell Spike she has Cancer, how is she gonna break it down to him? How's she gonna tell Apple Jack? But then the thought donged on Twilight, she then stopped and left the candle lit and then got the phone and called AJ.

"Hey Apple Jack, AJ, it's Twi, hey. Oh listen I didn't wake you, did I?... Oh good, good. Oh No, no nothing's wrong I just... I've been thinking about that offer of that ride-along."

* * *

 **(the next morning with AJ)**

"It's the last one on the right, you see it? not the two-story one, the one next to it, Kind of a... whadda you call that?" AJ asks Twilight as they both are in hiding in a chariot just a couple of meters from the house.

"uh, Sage?" Twilight responds

"oh... Sage? Does this pony work a Pottery Barn or somethin'? Geez" AJ chuckles a bit from the thought.

"Well it's Sage, It's the word for it."

"Yeah well, anyway it's the Sage one. Ya see it hon?"

"So, what tells you it's a meth lab?"

"just our snitch. It's just some pony that goes by the name of 'Cap 'N Cook'. heh, lives up to there name in there. They say they always adds a dash of chili powder. haha" after that last statement that AJ made a large wagon full of fillies that just got out of school passed by the house that they were monitoring and then AJ took out a radio walkie and said "School-wagon is clear . you got the green light." ... _"Copy that"_ said the person on the radio. As soon as the command was given another chariot came out with large armored-up stallions with weapons were on it, and as soon as they parked in front of the house AJ then got the chariot that They were in and pulled up right next to them as the task force got off and surrounded the house.

"Go, go, go, go." said one of the stallions as they were getting ready to invade in.

"Meth labs are nasty on a good day, You mix that stuff wrong your gonna mustard-gas." AJ explains to Twilight, but she knew what the gas is properly called,

"Phosphine gas... i think." she says as Twilight tries to cover up that she might know too much about this sort of stuff, but s for AJ she let's it slide and says, 'Yeah exactly'

"One whiff will kill ya, that's why they have respirators."she states, after a little while has passed of the task force checking the perimeter and once it's all cleared they then initiated a force entry and blasted the windows down and threw in a gas grenade to mot only smoke out the meth cook, but to also blind him and catch him by surprise.

 _"house is Clear, One suspect in custody."_ said one of the ponies on the radio.

"Copy that." AJ responded back as she gets ready to go in with them for further investigation.

"Um AJ, do you think I might get to go inside? To see the actual lab?" Twilight asks as being a curios mind that she is.

"Uh... Sure sugar cube, hey I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go check inside to see if everything is alright. Stay here for a minute." AJ says as she leave the chariot and heads in on inside. As she went on in Twilight just sat in there wondering 'what could possibly be in there that's so vile?' but just then she heard a faint noise coming from the next door house, as she looks to see what it was she was in a bit of a shock as to see a body just flops onto the ground like a rag-doll, twilight then tried to poke her head above to see if the person was alright until she sees party items being thrown out of the window above from where the body fell, only to be in shock that it was Cheese that is throwing out these party items in such an angry way, only to discover that those party item looks Vary familiar, the body that was on the ground then quickly got up and started to pick up all the party stuff but there was no time left until the person then noticed Twilight looking right at her...

"Pinkie?" twilight said was such a surprise as to not see her in years, but then Pinkie pie made a gesture of shushing as she hides behind a wagon and then a cloud came Way close to the ground and swooped Pinkie up into the air and went off, but this made Twilight get out of the chariot and see were the cloud was going, and it would appear that it was going to the mountains.

* * *

 **(Later at night)**

As Twilight was able to borrow a motorized chariot from AJ, she then was going up to the near by mountains that were relatively close to Ponyvile, and then she pulled up to a house that was made in a cave, and it had a few old party signs and some fire/lightning streak marks on the side of it's walls. Twilight the got out of the chariot and then walked up to the front of the house until she hear some chattering from the left side of the cave entrance, she then proceeded to follow it until she got to s driveway looking place where a few clouds were being kept.

"Hello? hey uh, it's me. I'm alone..." Twilight said as she was talking to her old friends again.

"...how'd you find us?" said a familiar voice that was definitely not Pinkie.

"This place is the only place I know a cloud would differently survive for a long periods of time near ground without slowly evaporating... And it's the only place that would be isolated from everypony." Twilight proclaims. Until the person who was talking to her then stands up to come front her. "So your aunt still owns this place right Rainbow?"

"I own it now." Rainbow snaps at Twilight, but she just shrugs in a way that just says, 'understandable'.

"Look, no pony's looking for you." Twilight says reassuring Rainbow Dash.

"Why are you here?" Rainbow says demanding to know.

"I was, curious... To be honest, I didn't really amount to a lot but, Methamphetamine? tsk, heh, I didn't picture that." she says as she approaches Rainbow, "There's a lot of money in it huh?."

"look I Don't know what your talking about,"

"No?"

"Not a clue."

"... Cap 'N Cook? That's not you?" Twilight then dusts off a sign that was near one of the clouds with Rainbow's and Pinkies faces on it. (which also looks like Pinkie drew it.) "... Like I said, No pony is looking for you."

"Look, I don't know what you think you're doing here Twilight. i mean if you're planing on giving me some, bull-winder about getting right with Celestia. or turning myself in-"

"not really-"

"Our magic friendship was a long time ago, it all went down-hill when that, Thing came in and destroyed most of Equestria, alright You ain't 'Welcome Back, Cotter,' so Step Off. No Speeches."

"Short speech... You lost one of your partners today, what's his name... Emilio? Emilio is going to the royal dungeon. The P.D.E.A took all of your money, your lab, you've got nothing, Square one. But you Know the business, Pinkie knows the cook, and I know the chemistry. I'm thinking, maybe we all can partner up." Twilight says to Rainbow with a determined tone in her voice.

"...Heh, you uh, You wanna cook crystal meth?" Rainbow asks, but Twilight gives a nod, but Rainbow just says, "You? You and uh, with us? Haha" she then chuckles a bit.

"That's right... Either that. Or I turn both of you in."

* * *

 **(the next day at the library)**

Spike and Apple Bloom were going through some old things in the back room to see what they could sell in order to support the Library, as they were digging through Apple Bloom picked up a weird bird-vase looking thing.

"What in the hay is this?" she says showing to Spike.

"I have no idea, but Twi always discribed it as 'mosaic folk art' " Spike said as he was rummaging through some stuff.

"And ya think somepony would buy it?"

"Well if it's authentic, yeah. I would say... 14 bits? 13?"

"At this rate, in 'bout 50 or 60, y'all be rich." Apple Bloom jokes as apose to say that 'this stuff is old and not a lot of people are gonna buy it', "So how goes the job 'round here?"

"It isn't a, 'Real' place that I would work but, actually I-"

"Wait, you don't like this place? I thought you loved working here." she says, wondering if Spike is gonna abandon Ponyvile or something.

"What? No, I'm just saying that I, might find new places and actually getting get a well paid job to help Twilight out." he explains.

"Oh, alright I just thought that maybe, you'd want to stay here, you know, a little while more."

"Yeah well, maybe so." he responds as he picks up and antique looking cane.

"So, what's up with Twilight lately?"

"What do you mean? She's fine."

"well, she just seems, i donno quieter then usual."

"Eh, turning 40 is a big deal, I mean I'm not looking forward to becoming that age. Heh"

"So... It's a mid-life crisis?"

"Nah, she's just quiet."

Later on Twilight then returns to her Old living establishment before she came to live in Ponyvile, to grabs some old lab equipment for chemistry, beakers, boilers, and flasks right fr the picking as she puts them all in a large box and hauls them over to the borrowed chariot outside, but before she could get close to it, a plastic beaker then falls out of the box and Twilight was inclined to set it the box down and pick it up, then resumed to get into the chariot.  
Soon later Twilight then drives up to the house that Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were living in, and as she pulled up there she then got out and was about to pull out the equipment, she then looks over at Rainbow which was just chilling on a lawn-chair sipping on a can of apple cider,

"You just gonna sit there?" Twilight said, and then Rainbow rolled her eyes and then gets up and helps her to set the box on a cloud as Twilight explains all that she has as Pinkie bounces in to see as well. "Look at this, a Kjeldahl-style recovery flask, 800 milliliters, vary rare. You got your usual paraphernalia, Griffin Beakers (heh pun) your Erlenmeyer flask. But the pièce de résistance... A Round-Bottom boiling flask, 5000 milliliters!" she then gives a chuckle as to show how impressive it all seems, at least to her and Pinkie, but then Pinkie looks over in the box and says,

"Ooh! I cook in one of those! The big one!"

"One of these?" Twilight says as she looks over and picks up a flask. "No this is a Volumetric flask, You wouldn't cook in one of these." the she then puts it down.

"Um yeah, we do." Rainbow says as she was defending Pinkie with sass.

"Uh no you don't, a Volumetric flask is for mixing and titration, you wouldn't apply Heat to a Volumetric flask, That's what the Boiling flask is for, Did you both learn nothing from my teaching?" Twilight says as she was making a statement.

"No, you stopped and gave up on us remember?" Rainbow tells Twilight, and then she says another thing under her breath which was, 'prick-ah'  
"And let me tell you something, this isn't Chemistry, okay this is art-"

"Delicious Art!" Pinkie spoke out.

"-er, right. Cooking, is art and that shit we cook is the bomb, so you don't be telling us." Rainbow the resumes after Pinkies butt-in.

"No the shit you cook is shit, I saw your set up it's ridiculous. You, Pinkie, and I will not be making garbage, We will produce a chemically pure and stable product that preforms as advertises, No adulterants, No baby-formula, No Cup in a Cake swirls, and No Chilli Powder." Twilight tells them straight on.

"No no Chilli P. is my Signature!" Rainbow says but was over-powered as Twilight tells her,

"Not anymore."

"...heh, yeah well we'll see about that." Rainbow says as Pinkie somehow pops up from in the box with a latex apron on her head, as Rainbow takes it off her and asks Twilight, "Um, what the Hay is this?"

"Lab safety equipment, we're also gonna have a emergency eye-wash station. These chemicals and there fumes are toxic, in case you didn't know that." twilight says as she twirls her hoofs around her head as she squints at Rainbow.

"Well you can dress up like a little prissy if you want, but not me." she says as waves the apron in front of Twilight.

"Ooh, I Wanna Dress Up!" Pinkie again says sporadically, but Rainbow then just puts the apron back onto her head and covering her face as she sinks back down into the box. They then proceeded to prep everything for a cook but then Rainbow says to Twilight,

"Listen, this stuff doesn't stay for more then a day."

"what? I thought were gonna cook here." Twilight says a bit confused of what to do now.

"Oh No, we can't cook here, this is Dashie's house, we don't blow-up what we fix." Pinkie says as she made a strange analogy of 'not exposing where they live'.

"Well where we gonna work?" Twilight asks Rainbow.

"Hey you tell me, this is your deal, you wanna smoke it up, smoke it up at your house." she says indicating that it's Twilight's problem, but knew that she couldn't. "Nah didn't think so, Oh well."

"Well, what if we rented one of those self-storage places?" Twilight offers, "you know one of those, orange barns? Work out of there?"

"No, they're onto that. They got dogs that sniff around... a Wagon, that's what you want."

"What like a, Winnebago?" Twilight asks.

"...Yeah." RD response, but them Pinkie drops in and says to them,

"Oh! I know a pony who wants to sell his. He just goes camping with it so he doesn't uses it vary often."

"Hey yeah, good idea Pinkie. A mobile meth lab, that'd be the bomb." RD says as she appreciates Pinkies good thinking. "Think about it, driving out in the hidden valleys, be all evasive. Hehe, So Pinkie, you think you can do it?"

"Yes'm!"

* * *

Later on as they were at a bank Twilight was coming out with a bag full of her life-savings, as she was walking up to the chariot that both Pinkie and RD were in she then gives them the bag as they both were trying to stay a bit hidden. As RD was counting the money she then sighs and says that 'this isn't even 7 thousand'  
"Pinkie said that this guy wants 85 grand."

"This is all the Bits I have in the world, you're a drug dealer. Negotiate." Twilight informs RD, but Rainbow just scoffs as she says,

"you are Not how i remember you all those years ago, i mean not like at all." she says as she counts the bits

"I gotta go." Twilight tells them as she was about to leave but was stopped by Rainbow's question.

"Wait wait hold up, Tell me why you're doing this. Seriously."

"Why do you do it?" Twilight responds with a question.

"Bits, mainly."

"...Well there you go."

"No, come on Twi, some straight like you with a giant stick up her plot all of a sudden age what, 60, she's just gonna breaks bad?"

".. I'm 40."

"It's weird is all, okay it does not 'Compute'. Listen, if you've gone crazy, more then Pinkie in any way, or depressed, I'm just saying, that's something I need to know, okay that affects me, affects us." RD says as she whispers loudly.

"You really wanna know? ... *tsk* ... I am Awake..." Twilight says with a non-sensible answer, that even Pinkie was confused by.

"*scoff* ... What? What does that mean?" she asks but Twilight just shrugs it off and tells her,

"Buy the Wagon. We start Tomorrow" she says as she walks back to her house.

* * *

 **(Later at a clothing store)**

"So Spike, how's everything in there?" Twilight asks as she stands outside the change room.

"Eeeeeh, fine..." Spike replies as not to let her know that the shirt that she recommended him to wear is a bit too small for him and that he's stuck.

"Um, your sure? You were in there for about 25 minutes... are you stuck?... You want me to help you?"

"... fine." he sighs as he lets Twilight in and help him out on getting un-stuck. Soon after they then stood in front of a large mirror outside of the change rooms as Twilight says,

"So, what do you think? Is it too tight? cause you don't have to get it if there too tight."

"Well, it's a bit snug..." Spike says as he's a bit embarrasses that Twilight still helps him out on picking out clothing, even though he's almost about 20. But then some other colts sees this and begin mocking him from a distance saying things like, 'Mama, get them, my big boy pants' as they laugh. Twilight then notices this as she get's a look of being a shamed for Spike, but also something else, as those other colts continue to mock Spike, Twilight then storms off and exits through the back room, leaving Spike there by himself, as he looked at himself in the mirror he then had an Epiphany and thought to himself, 'No, it's high time I show them what-for!' so he then turns to them and begins to walk towards them, but before he could get within 10 feet of them Twilight re-enters the store from the front Entrance and kicks one of the bigger colts onto the ground and holds him by the hind leg on the ground.

"What's the matter jr? Having a little trouble trotting?" she says as the large colt tells her to, 'Get Off!' she then does so letting him get up and facing Twilight head on and telling her right at her face that He'll mess her up.

"Well You Only got One shot You better make it good. What you waiting for your girlfriends? You better go, come on take it, take the shot, TAKE IT!" She snaps at him with a bit of crazy in her eye as the large colt backs up as what seems that he's about to cry or something as the rest tells the wounded colt that Let's get outta here,

"you Psycho..." he says as he starts walking out with a limp, and the rest of the store see this as a act of heroism and Spike looks at her with such amazement, as he had never seen her act out in violence before even if it was just a little.

* * *

 **(The Next day out on the large empty fields in the valleys)**

A large motorized wagon is parked near a cavern in the middle of nowhere as Twilight exits the vehicle to have a look sight to where they were going to cook, then Rainbow flies in over head and lands on top of a ridge and tells Twilight, "Yeah nothing but cows, and uh looks like they got some big cow-houses out that way, like two miles but I don't see anypony."

"Cow-House?" Twilight asks a bit confuses as to what does she mean by that.

"Yeah, where they live. The cows... You know what whatever, shit yeah let's cook here." Rainbow says as she glides on down to where Twilight is, but before she got there Twilight was then putting on some weird looking cloths and Rainbow asks her, "Uh, what are you doing?"

"I need to layer-up my body, I can't go home smelling like a meth lab." she says as she puts on a fuzzy jacket.

"Uh yeah you can, we do it." just then after she puts on weird baggy pants of some sort Rainbow then notices large gloomy glasses next to Twilight and then says, "Uh, those, Wow. Your keeping those off right-?" but then she gets cuts off as to oppose to realize that Twilight has already put them on, and then Twilight the turns to look at Rainbow, giving her a look that says, 'Get over it'.

"Come on, daylight's burning." she says as she gets in the wagon, Rainbow then pauses then realizes something and zips into the wagon as well, and as she is already inside the then rummages through the seats until she finds a film-roll camera and then starts filming, first the camera is pointed at a sleeping Pinkie Pie then turns to Twilight in her dorky get up.

"You know this is actually a good look for you, I mean you're maybe only Equestria's, second biggest homo." Rainbow says as she films her from behind.

"Would you be quite and help me." she says as she preps to cook.

"oh yeah, oh Yeah work it baby Work It!"

"Wha- Turn That Off!" Twilight yells at RD as she turns around and chases her trying to grab the camera.

Later on all three of them then gets starting on inducing chemically pure methamphetamine as they grind up some crystals and put them into a beaker, and mix it in with other crystals, powders, and chemicals as they break-down and reform these gases and turn them into solids again, over and over as they cook up there product, there were some miner set-backs thanks to RD's and Pinkie's cocky ways, but over all they were doing good, better they would anticipate, as they continue cooking for about 3 to 4 hours, until the final thing Twilight was about to put in, until she stopped RD from adding her famous 'Dash of Chili pepper'. And that's it, they were done. Pinkie and Rainbow then looked over at what they have made until Pinkie took out a magnifying glass and looked closely at it as Twilight sat down and cleans her glasses.

"Oh my Celestia, this is glass-grade. We've got glass up to, 2 inches, 3 inches Long! This is Pure Glass! Twilie this is ART!" Pinkie says with a hyped-up smile on her face.

"Well actually it's just basic-chemistry but Thank you Pinkie I'm glad it's acceptable." Twilight responds.

"Acceptable? You're the damn Iron-Chef, Every chip-head from here to Counterlot is gonna wanna taste." Rainbow says, also congratulating Twilight. But then she and Pinkie get's a thought and tries to 'test' the product, but Twilight stops her as she tells them, 'what are you doing?'

"We only sell it, we don't use it."

"Um, okay since when? Listen you've been watching way too much 'Crime In Pitty'. That ain't happening " RD tells her. But Twilight just scoffs and says to them,

"So, What now? how do we proceed?"

"We cook more tomorrow, and in the meantime, I know just the Griffon to talk to." Rainbow says as she takes 4 meth crystals and puts them into a plastic bad that Pinkie has open, ready to give to RD.

* * *

 **(Griffonstone)**

Upon entering the kingdom of the Griffons Rainbow checks and finds the place to meet one Griffon named, 'Krazy8' as he trains a pack of smaller timber-wolves to attack a dummy, as one of the Wolves was biting the leg of a pony shaped dummy and another was biting the wing Rainbow the enters in the room. A bit anxious of walking up to him since she sees the timber-wolves rip the dummy apart she shakes it off and says,  
"Yo Kraze, how you doin'? ... Hey uh, you got a new, 'dog', Right on bro. What's there names? ... uh, Yeah I had a dog like that once, except maybe like, twice as big. Super-purebred, but me personally, I would train them to go right for the throat, more blood-"

"Just shut your mouth and show me your money." Kraze said with his back still turned.

"I ain't buyin' fool, I'm selling." Rainbow says as she shows him a small bag with the product inside, then Kraze looked behind him as to see it, then commands the 3 timber-wolves to calm down and sit. Then RD tosses the bag to him as she leans against a table with her arms crossed as she says, "Now, tell me that ain't the finest scante you ever laid eyes on. Go ahead try it." Kraze then looks at her then looks back at the bag, then opens it, crushes a little bit of it, and then snorts some of it.  
"Ey poochie, how you doing" Rainbow says as she 'Tries' to befriend one of the timber-wolves but it just growled at her then barked as RD backed away. Then she looked at Kraze and says, "Yeah. Booya! See what'd I say?"

"... It's alright." he lies as his reaction was intimate, he totally enjoyed the crystal.

"It's Alright? It's all right, Yeah it's all right..." RD says with a confident smile on her face

"So what? You're back in business?" Kraze asks

"Hell yeah I'm back. With a vengeance, The Captain gotta make a living, you know with your cousin gone away and all... hey listen dawg, about that, it really broke my heart about Emilio, that dude is like my brother, You okay? You talked to him?" She asks,

"Yeah I talked to him, he said when the feds came that your partner was being 'sticked in' by some neighbor stallion."

"Heh, well you know Pinkie, she got lucky twice."

"I donno Rain, Emilio... he thinks that maybe you dimed on him."

"Woah woah, hey hey that is bullshit. That is bullshit Krazy8! You know I should kick is plot for even thinking that. You know what? Next time you talk to him, You tell em' for me."

"You should tell him yourself, he made the bail this morning." Krazy said to her, and right after he said that, a smaller, scruffy looking griffon came out of a room next the one that They themselves were in, It was Emilio.

"Go ahead Rain, kick my plot." Emilio said as he walked up to RD with his chest puffed up and ready to scrap.

"Hey listen-" Rainbow then was cut off by the barking of one of the timber-wolves, followed by both Krazy and Emilio backing RD into a corner as Krazy taps rainbow's head with the back asking her, 'where'd she got this?'

"Cause I know a little puck like you Or that chronic partner of yours didn't cook it."

* * *

 **(back at the cook site)**

Twilight as putting on a new outfit that seemed appropriate for the cook, and hopefully Rainbow won't make fun of her this time, as Pinkie came out of the Wagon with two beverages a low-rider style chariot came rolling up to the cook-site as well, the two then instantly turned to look at the chariot from the music that was being blasted from the inside, as it came to a close enough distance from the Wagon it stopped as did the music and only Krazy came out to greet Twilight,  
"Hehe, Damn girl, are you some kind messed up fashionista? That's some Stone-fine tick-tick you been cooking there home-y. How 'bout you come work for me?" he tells Twilight as she turned to look at Pinkie as she had a black worried face, and Pinkie almost Never has that look unless it was serious, Twilight then looks back at Krazy and says,

"Um... I'll be willing to sell it to you if, the price is right.", just then Krazy then snaps his fingers as a sign to Emilio to give him the money to show to Twilight. He does and Krazy holds up a bag full of Bits over his head, then Twilight nods as an agreement to sell her product to him.

"So, you're out here all by yourself huh?" Krazy says, but just then Emilio the takes a closer look at Twilight and then it hits him, he's seen her before, he then gets out and starts telling her that she knows her,

"She was there when I got busted, She With The P.D.E.A!"

"No." Twilight says in response but it was too late, the idea of Twilight being an undercover agent had already sank in to there heads.

"You rotten motha-bucker!" Emilio says as he's about to grab Rainbow from the chariot and drags her out, but was too slow as RD got out of the chariot yells at both Pinkie at Twilight,

"Twi, Pinkie Run!", but it was no use as tried to run but had nowhere to go and Pinkie tried to run as well but didn't get vary far when she slipped on one of her trash and hit her head on a rock causing her to be knocked out, and Rainbow didn't get vary far also as she tried to fly away but was knocked out by a magic dagger that shot a spell from Emilio. As Krazy ran up to Twilight he also had a dagger and kept a 10 foot distance and looked back at Emilio to see him apprehend RD.

"I say we gut them both." Emilio says as he holds a knife at RD's body. But Krazy looked at Twilight and asked,

"You really cooked up that batch? ... You're an artist, damn shame." he then walks a bit closer to Twilight but was stopped when Twi said something that sparked Krazy's internist

"Wait! Wait a minute, listen to me, I'll teach you, my recipe, huh? What do say? you wanna cook like me? *cough* ... You let us all live, And I will teach you. Huh?", Krazy then thought about it and agreed to these terms, he then got Emilio to tie up both Pinkie and Rainbow nearby the Wagon and then kicked both of them on the side for a bit of satisfying revenge for leaving him to the feds, he then proceeded to enter the Wagon and sees all nicely done lab and equipment as Twilight crushes come crystals, as she was doing this Emilio then walked up all in Twilight's personal space as he started to smoke, this then distracts Twilight and then she tells him to 'put the cigarette out', Emilio then gives a glare and then Twilight then looks at Krazy and says to him 'please' as to let let him know that she can't constraint with someone like him smoking around her, Krazy then get's Emilio to stop smoking and throws out his cigarette but before he fully did he then blows one final puff of smoke at Twilight's face. Twilight then resumes to cook for them as she grabs a medium-sized pot and fills it with water as it's heating up, it soon boils and Twilight slowly hesitates to grab the bottle labeled, 'Red Phosphorus' and puts it close to her but then a Slam of Krazy's dagger hits right next to the plastic bottle, startling her as he tells her to 'Move it'

"We ain't got all day.", Twilight then nods and opens the bottle and with a hesitant look on her face she looks at the bottle, discreetly takes a deep breath and Quickly dumps the Phosphorus into the pot As Twilight Runs out of there holding her breath as she is outside and holds the door shut so that the Gas stays insinuated as she technically kills the brothers inside, but they get more relentless and want out more as they gasps and coughed for air, and then they both start to stab the door right above Twilight's head a few time before they have dropped dead inside. Realizing that the violence has stopped she then takes a gasps of air before she rushes over to Pinkie and Rainbow and starts untying them, but before she get's them free she heard faint cracking noises, she turned around and saw a huge fire emerging from some dry plants near by, Twilight rushes over and tries to up out the flames but it was too late, the fire became too intense for her to put out so she decided to leave it be and Get outta there as soon as possible, she then heads over to RD and Pinkie and puts on there respirator masks right before Twilight got them both in the Wagon and began driving.

* * *

 **(Now we return to the Beginning of how this started)**

Twilight stands in the middle of the road waiting for the authorities to come for her, but a few moments has already pasted and She grows tired of waiting for them, she then looks at the dagger, and with grief, exhaustion, and hatred to herself closes her eyes and tries to make an attempt of suicide. But could not for as the dagger made contact to her body it then stops, without penetrating, Twilight then opens her eyes and looks down to see this, she then brought the dagger up to her face and read the inscription that was on it, she then groans as it turns out, the 'Safety' was on, and what it means by that is, it protects the welder from injuring him/herself, Then twilight cast a spell to unlock the safety but when she did that a burst of concentrated dark-magic right at the side of the ground, this then surprises and shocked twilight immensely as she freaked out by the loud blast of energy, she then looked at the dagger and shook a little as the sight of it frightened her a bit, she then looked back at where sirens were approaching, 'I guess this is it, I'll have no choice but to let them take me in...' She says in her head as she began to tear up and opened her arms to let them arrest her, but what she didn't know is that the sirens were Not the authorities but rather fire-fighters that were responding to a fire back at where the cook-site was, she then hid the dagger behind her as to not let those other ponies see her with a dangerous weapon, as they were coming closer they then honked there horns as they made Twilight get off the road, she then does as to a shock that she was almost caught with the weapon as she sees the large red truck drive off with 20 tons of water and a few stallions on it. As soon as they were gone Rainbow Dash then regains consciousness and comes out of the Wagon and walks up to Twilight as she takes off her gas-mask and also looks at where the fire truck was going, she the looks at Twilight and asks,

"what happened?" she then looks back at the Wagon as appose to have already seen the bodies inside. "Hey. what'd you do to them?" she says as to grab Twilight's attention.

"...Red phosphorus in the presence of moisture and accelerated by heat, yields Phosphorus hydride. Phosphine Gas. One good whiff of that and..." Twilight explains with a action of slicing the throat, signing the term 'Death', but then she get's sick to her stomach and runs to a near-by bush to throw up as Rainbow is in shock as to realize that Twilight may have killed someone. Twilight then got over the vomiting and came back to RD and looks at her and says to her, "We gotta... We gotta clean this up." as she points to the Wagon, the begins to walk towards it only to leave a Black eyed Rainbow Dash still standing there scratching her head.

Later back at Rainbow's house, Twilight began to take loads of Bits out of a washing machine as she opened it, and saying in her head, 'This has been a hectic day'

* * *

 **(Back at Twilight's home at night)**

Twilight then enters the house and runs into Spike as he asks, "Where were you?", but Twilight just stands there at the entrance with a bit of a blank face, but then she started to walk towards her room, "Twi... I, I don't know what's going on with you lately,but-" Spike was then cut off by Twilight as she halts halfway near her room,

"Spike I'm fine really."

"Well, whatever it is, I'll tell you this. I get worried when you don't talk to me, and the worst thing you can do is shut me out." Spike states but immediately after Twilight then gives him a Big hug, just out of the blue, she then departs and says to him,

"I am okay, don't worry." as reassures him, and heads straight to bed, and as she flops her body on top of the bed sheets she turns and faces her front side upward to look at the ceiling, but she wasn't looking directly at the ceiling but more like thinking about what happened today, she then said to herself, "That was, kinda exhilarating..." as she makes a small smile as she fell asleep.

* * *

 **((Hope You all liked this, It took me a while to make this because of school and what not but it's finally done, Just remember this is a Alternate universe of MLP that takes the same center-stage as Breaking Bad, if there's any plot-lines I missed let me know so that I can fix it, and also know that I'm basing this off of the Actual Breaking Bad show, so I had t switch out a few things like Splitting Jesse Pinkman into two people and merging Walter jr. and Skylar into Spike, now It's not perfect but it's something I wanted to do, there might be more but only depending if you all Want more, Then I'll work on the second Episode, but until then I'll see You, in the next one. Bu-Bye! ))**


End file.
